Aha!

Its been awhile since I've blogged, and unfortunately for the three people that read this...  I'm making a comeback.  I had a little "aha" moment today and I thought I'd share.  I know, I know... I'm too kind.

This morning I was supposed to volunteer at the church that we attend.  I was to work the front desk, and I forgot.  I didn't get sick.  I didn't get in a car accident or double book myself.  I FORGOT!  I took my kids to school in my pajamas (something I wasn't going to admit, but just did) with the full intention of spending the morning on my tush watching a movie I recorded yesterday.  Yes, I was in full on lazy mode.  I had committed to something, but apparently my brain had shut down and I didn't go.  No, that's not my aha moment.

The first aha was half an hour after I was supposed to be done at the front desk.  That's when I realized that I missed it.  But, the bigger one was when I realized something...  I can't do everything.  Some of you may be saying duh, but I say "AHA!"  True story!

I am not a good say no-er.  I say no to people that I know I can say no to and have them still love me.... but I am not good at saying no to people who need something.  I should have "sucker" or "dum dum" or both tattooed to my forehead because I agree to almost anything.  Case in point, this weekend at Will's Blue and Gold Brunch, they put out a call for a new pack secretary.  Even though I help Mark in his den leading duties, I sat there and pondered volunteering just because there was a  need.  I don't want to do it.  But, I am in the presence of a needer and I'm a doer.  Its a sickness.  However, in the moment that I realized that after our hectic weekend of basketball, boy scouts and birthdays, my brain had shut down....  Maybe I agree to too many things.  Instead of doing a few things and doing them well, I am committing to everything and doing them half assed (or no assed like I did today). 

So, after my epiphany, instead of falling all over myself to apologize for my horrible behavior and then saying "see you next Monday," I fell all over myself apologizing and said, "and take me off the schedule."  Between our winter of disease and my other commitments (including the one to give myself a morning off every now and then), I just need to let this go.  I can't do it all... and in trying to, I'm really doing nothing at all.  Aha!