Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I Don't Drink From A Glass

You know that inane cliché of someone being a glass half empty or a glass half full kind of person?  Well, I am not that person.  My glass isn't half empty and its not half full.  In fact, I drink mostly out of a Diet Coke can that you can't even see inside.  I don't know if its half empty, three quarters full or a sip left.  I know that its a soda.  When I open it, its full.  Then I drink it.  Then when its gone, its empty.  That's my can.  Rinse. Recycle. Repeat.

I'm not an optimist, pessimist, or anesthesiologist.  I have no ist at all.  If I had to add an ist to my personality, I guess I'd be called a realist.  I tend to look at things as they are.  I don't add in a hopeful rose colored view and I don't doomsday it to death either.  It is what it is.  React accordingly.  When something goes amok (a word my mother embraces for most things), I try to live by the philosophy of "don't panic until there's something to panic about."  Deal with the problem, move on.  I don't stick my head in the ground and Ethel Merman "every thing's coming up roses" either.  I have no roses.  Well, that's not true.  I planted a rose bush about a month ago.  But, I'm not sure its going to survive my black thumb.  That's not cynicism, mind you, that's reality.  The Jolly Green Giant, I am not.

Nine times out of ten, any comment from me either written on a social media site or coming out of my mouth is an attempt to get a laugh.  I tend to blurt out sarcastic nothings rather than serious somethings because I like the laugh.  I'm a regular Jim Carrey, minus the facial expressions and paycheck.  The reality is negativity gets more laughs.  Does that mean I am negative?  No.  It means the response is funnier that way.  Does it paint me in the best light to announce to the Facebook world that my bra snapped open in Meijer and I had to tuck the twins into my waistband and slump out of the store?  No.  But was that damn funny?  YES.  Should anything funny be shared with the world even though its embarrassing?  YES YES.  If it made someone laugh that day, then it was worth it to share my humiliation. 

So, that's just a little bit of me.  I look at the world and all of its happenings as it is.  Sometimes negative, half empty and full of weeds.  Sometimes positive, half full and full of flowers.  All times worth the joke if you can make it.