I do think that the romantic comedy, or modern day fairy tales, are to blame for our ridiculously high expectations. Take Pretty Woman, for example. I don't know of any actual prostitutes that get picked up by rich dudes and turned into Mrs. Donald Trump. That movie makes prostitution look glam and fruitful. You are even encouraged to have good dental hygiene for God's sake. But, flossing doesn't mean some rich dude is going to whisk you away in his odd grey limo and support you in paradise. Just ask Divine Brown. I haven't seen her on Hugh Grant's arm at any premiers, have you?
Ok, so we now know that you can't trust the career success in a romantic comedy, but what about the fact that they portray men and classy, loving and downright romantic. Give me a break! Ok, so I love Mark and blah blah blah, but come on. Romantic comedies are men standing outside holding up jam boxes blaring great songs. Real men are snoring and farting in their sleep. Romantic comedies are couples holding hands and strolling through the park. Real men are checking their Blackberry for the Colt's score and wondering how many walks it takes to get some action. Romantic comedies are happily ever after, romantic proposals and gorgeous weddings and then the credits roll. Real life... after the romantic proposals and wedding... you actually have to have marriage. Kids. Dirt. Bathrooms that smell of poo after the dude leaves and coffee grounds on the counter tops. It's laundry day when their socks are all inside out and when you turn them the right way, you feel his foot sweat. It's work. It's not romance. It's not comedy. It's life. And the movie makers are too smart to show you that part, or you go from Bed of Roses to War of the Roses in 60 seconds or less.
So, just say no to the romantic comedy. Our expectations are raised by men like Richard Gere, Will Smith and Mel Gibson (pre-psychotic rants and racism, of course) and our real life men just can't live up. I suggest instead that we watch hours and hours of Lifetime movies. I can say for sure that my man can stack up pretty well against the alcoholics, wife beaters and racists on that channel. Suddenly a little sleep fart won't smell quite as bad... ok, yeah it will... but at least I will fall back asleep with the knowledge that it could be worse. He could be running a dog fighting ring in our backyard.