Thursday, February 28, 2013

All The Single Mamas

With this post I want to accomplish two things.  One, to get Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies" stuck in your head as you read the title and two, to give a great big shout out, fist pump, and a side of kudos to all the women (and men) who raise their kids alone.  Mark is currently out of town, and I have had two nights of single motherhood and I have to tell ya... I'm about done.

I would have said (and will probably say again tomorrow when Mark returns), that I do the lion's share of the work around here.  However, having Mark gone has truly made me realize how much he does (or should I say "how much I have him do?").  Its just nice having a second person to help run the show. 

Last night I was getting ready for the cleaning people to come today (yes, I realize how stupid that sounds) and I still had to do all the kid running that Mark usually does.  That is on top of homework, cooking, eating with the kids, and cleaning up.  I was also doing laundry and... get this... I even had to put it all away!  Oh, the humanity!  On a typical night, Mark is the laundry putter awayer and the kids' chauffer. 

Today, I was my usual 7:00a to 6:00p SAHM, but then I had to do dinner alone, and clean up alone, and make the three beds that the boys either puked or peed on alone, and get them ready for bed alone and now the playroom is looking at me and is a mess and I have to clean it alone.  (Now get some Celine Dion "All By Myself" going...)

The nice thing is... I know Mark is coming home.  Tomorrow.  4:55pm.  I will not be a single mom for much longer.  But, some women are.  Some women don't get to look forward to a book and a bath Friday night because they're alone then, too.  Those women are now officially my heros.  (Insert Mariah Carrey's "Hero" here.)  Really, for all of us who play the working moms have it harder/stay home moms have it harder game, here's the truth...  Single moms have it hardEST!

Monday, February 25, 2013


Its been awhile since I've blogged, and unfortunately for the three people that read this...  I'm making a comeback.  I had a little "aha" moment today and I thought I'd share.  I know, I know... I'm too kind.

This morning I was supposed to volunteer at the church that we attend.  I was to work the front desk, and I forgot.  I didn't get sick.  I didn't get in a car accident or double book myself.  I FORGOT!  I took my kids to school in my pajamas (something I wasn't going to admit, but just did) with the full intention of spending the morning on my tush watching a movie I recorded yesterday.  Yes, I was in full on lazy mode.  I had committed to something, but apparently my brain had shut down and I didn't go.  No, that's not my aha moment.

The first aha was half an hour after I was supposed to be done at the front desk.  That's when I realized that I missed it.  But, the bigger one was when I realized something...  I can't do everything.  Some of you may be saying duh, but I say "AHA!"  True story!

I am not a good say no-er.  I say no to people that I know I can say no to and have them still love me.... but I am not good at saying no to people who need something.  I should have "sucker" or "dum dum" or both tattooed to my forehead because I agree to almost anything.  Case in point, this weekend at Will's Blue and Gold Brunch, they put out a call for a new pack secretary.  Even though I help Mark in his den leading duties, I sat there and pondered volunteering just because there was a  need.  I don't want to do it.  But, I am in the presence of a needer and I'm a doer.  Its a sickness.  However, in the moment that I realized that after our hectic weekend of basketball, boy scouts and birthdays, my brain had shut down....  Maybe I agree to too many things.  Instead of doing a few things and doing them well, I am committing to everything and doing them half assed (or no assed like I did today). 

So, after my epiphany, instead of falling all over myself to apologize for my horrible behavior and then saying "see you next Monday," I fell all over myself apologizing and said, "and take me off the schedule."  Between our winter of disease and my other commitments (including the one to give myself a morning off every now and then), I just need to let this go.  I can't do it all... and in trying to, I'm really doing nothing at all.  Aha!