Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Advice for the Soon-To-Weds

I have two friends that are planning their weddings right now. As a marriage veteran (5 L-O-N-G years under my belt), I feel like I have some wisdom to impart on them.

1. My mama told me that the key to a happy marriage is a king size bed. Amen, Mama. Nothing says "happily ever after" like the ability to roll over and sleep as if you are completely ALONE. That being said, separate covers and ear plugs turn mere happy to insanely blissful.

2. Never go to bed angry. Stay up and discuss the issue and move forward. Then, stay up a little longer to plan all the ways you are going to subtly throw this fight in his face for the next 12 months to further demonstrate why you are right and he is wrong.

3. Split the chores. Even if you are a stay home mom (like someone I know), your life will be infinitely better if you split the household duties. Once they are split, reserve the right to change them frequently using the term "but, you're better at it." Then settle in to watch Hoarders as he does whatever chore you are just not in the mood for.

4. Make him feel special. See number three for backhanded compliment that really just gets you out of the yucky stuff.

5. Know that some things just aren't on the table for discussion. Super Bowl Sunday, for example, is non-negotiable. It is not a day to spring "hey, let's scrapbook together" on him. (In my case, it's more of a Project Runway is an inalienable right thing, but whatever floats your man's boat). Just remember, the wedding day was your day... Super Bowl Sunday is theirs.

6. Go into the marriage knowing that your last day of bliss and happiness is probably your wedding day. After that, it's work. It's bills, then kids... then you're too tired to acknowledge each other with anything more than a "I am watching The Bad Girls Club, so if you don't want to, go away." That being said, if you can find someone willing to hang with you while you watch The Bad Girls Club, keep him. That, my friends, is the key to happiness.

Good luck! Godspeed! And remember, if it doesn't work happiness can be only a divorce lawyer away.


Amie said...

I disagree with #5...the wedding day happens once, Super Bowl Sunday happens every year. I'm going to need an additional day each year.

TexInTheCity said...

Word to your mother on the King bed!

Amie: Would you accept Black Friday as your additional day?

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Got to love that Amie is not married yet and already thinking that the men have it better! Get used to it, sister.

But, thanks to Tex for swooping in and saving the day with the Black Friday suggestion. Genius!!!

Momo-Mama said...

#6 is my fave. By the time I get to sit down in the evening, I am like "shut up, I'm watching my show...jeez, can't you play in the computer or something?"

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Momo Mama - I am the same way! I used to be so annoyed when Mark would stay on the computer all night. Now I am like, seriously? Go play and leave me alone. You've been home for 2 hours and I am done.