So, let me tell you about my day. It all started when I was making the boys pancakes for breakfast. I am standing there and decide to check Tabbi's cell phone. I consider it my "lying/cheating 6th sense" that I have developed thanks to her. It is a super power that will come in very handy when the boys reach her age and realize that there is nothing that she hasn't tried. The thing is, Tabbi is grounded from her phone until Sunday. But, I get that niggling feeling that I need to check it. I see that she was texting this morning before school. GROWL!!! Then, I realize that the number she is texting isn't programmed into her phone, meaning it isn't someone she knows. DOUBLE GROWL!!! Then I realize that this conversation warrants action.
The conversation goes as follows:
Stranger: I can see u little girl
Tabbi: Who r u?
Stranger: I can see u
Tabbi: Who is this????
Stranger: IDK. I got your number from a friend.
I decide that this is stupid. I am over the kids (Tabbi included) thinking that cell phones are toys and texting is a game. If you don't have something to say, then shut up. No more nonsense texts. So, I call the number. I tell the caller's voicemail that I saw the texts on my daughter's phone and it needs to stop. "I am a police officer and this falls under harassment so do not call or text again or the cops will be at your door." Yeah... I lied. But, I felt it would make the kid stop. Last spring we were getting heavy breathing pranks one night until I said "Do you realize I am a police officer?" and suddenly no more panting. But today... I realize after I hang up that the voicemail wasn't a kid. That was a man's voice. At least 18, definitely not 11. So, I move on from the "this is annoying" mindset into, "what the hell is this?"
My friend Amoh (name changed to preserve her anonymity) does a reverse number search online (yes, we think she is going to leave her job and start her own detective agency) and the cell is linked to a tow truck company in a southern Indianapolis suburb. My "what the hell" feeling grows. So, after consulting my mom, Amoh and my friend Arual Eht Suomaf, I decide to call the police. If this is truly an adult male, and he is acting like he got the number from a friend, but already knows she is a little girl... I decide we are embarking on Law & Order: SVU territory and I jump to action.
I call the police. Then I remember that I impersonated a police officer and start to worry. Are they going to get Mr. Pervyton or are they going to arrest me? I begin to panic over the thought of me pretending to be a cop. Then, after I have set up a babysitter for the kids and someone to pay my bail... I make the call. They take my information and basically confirm that this is a big freaking deal. The dispatch officer says, "You have no idea how many perverts there are on our streets." Really? My street in particular or is this just a general statement? So, dispatch sends Officer Big Strong Man to my house. I did admit to dispatch that I pretended to be a cop on the voicemail and subsequently begged him not to arrest me. Luckily, he laughed and promised he wouldn't. Whew!
Officer BSM takes the matter seriously, but not as seriously as dispatch guy did. He agreed that the voice was in the 18 to 25 category, but was quick to assume it was an older brother of some kid messing around. And, maybe it was. Maybe I was stupid for calling the police and bringing Officer BSM to my house. But, what if I wasn't? What if Mitchell the Tow Truck Guy is a pervert and is watching my kid? Then, I want Officer BSM to call and leave the message that he left so that Mitchell or his little brother wet their pants and in the process come to grips with the following: 1. Don't screw with me. While I may not be a cop, I have no qualms calling them. So, pick another little kid to phone stalk. And if I hear from you again, you are toast. Or, 2. If you are a kid in her class messing around, cell phones are not freaking toys. Read a book. Get a hobby. Leave people alone unless you have something REAL to tell them. 3. Lose Tabbi's number because stalker or kid... either way... you don't want to mess with me and mine again.