Ok, so Tabbi didn't drop the "I hate you" phrase on us tonight, but instead she went for "when I am 13, do I get to pick where I live?" So, it was similar to the typical "I hate you," but with a slight variation because she thinks she has an escape route that most kids don't have. And, this will probably come as a shock to many... but I was stunned. I truly didn't think that she would ever want to move back in with her mother. But, I recovered nicely and banned her from speaking for the rest of the night. Seriously. Banned. No speaking for her. I didn't yell, I didn't lobby for our house over her mom's... I just said, "Ok, you don't get to speak for the rest of the night." And by God, it has been pretty quiet here ever since.
It doesn't matter what tween drama lead to this statement. I am not writing about her behavior or anything that is happening here. I am only interested in those three little words that any kid can throw out that just stops your world. "I HATE YOU."
Interestingly, one of Tabbi's friends texted that she hated her mom not too long ago. I read the text. I sort of know the mother. So, I briefly wondered about telling her. But, I didn't. I felt that like tonight, those words were said in direct retaliation against a punishment the girl had earned. It didn't need to be brought to the mom's attention and a simple issue then explodes into World War III. And, now that I am the wide receiver of the sentiment... I feel even more vindicated in not saying anything.
I know that Tabbi's words were chosen out of anger and revenge, but that doesn't ease the sting. It's like a good right hook and it landed exactly where she wanted it to. So, I was pleased that I didn't give her the satisfaction of knowing how that statement felt, but still. Ouch. A little sliver of a relationship that was at one point good just got squished.... and I don't know when or how it is going to heal.