Mommy! Me lotion!!!

Just a word to the wise.... Hand Sanitizer is for use on hands only. Please refrain from applying to male genitalia!!!

My "get ready" process is similar to that of a prison inmate, although I have to be faster and it doesn't really involve the same soap dropping dangers. I can only shower when Jack dictates a.k.a when he is asleep (he is the warden of my prison) and I just have to hope that Will (the other inmate) doesn't do too much damage while I am in the shower. Today was the equivalent of a riot.

I showered, brushed teeth, inserted contact lenses, and even made it through hair combing before the alarms went off. I saw that "Yo Gabba Gabba" was about to come on, and yelled that to Will whose whole life's happiness is wrapped up in that weird 70's style show starring a man in a fur hat and orange jump suit. I personally think its some sort of brain washing attempt by crazed Atari players, but Will likes it so I tolerate it. He walks into the bathroom saying excitedly "Mommy! Me lotion, me lotion!!!" I look over and Mr. Brilliant is generously applying Hand Sanitizer to his legs. I swear the next moments took place in slow motion as I realize his diaper is nowhere to be found and his hands covered in the alcohol based liquid are traveling up this thighs to his wee wee. I lunged, he beat me, and the resulting shriek of pain could be heard for miles around. Needless to say, he has spent his time since then standing with his long legs widespread and moaning "hot" while pointing to his now very sanitized private parts!