Monday, September 22, 2008

Step One: The Introduction

My friend Homa is helping me to start a blog. Apparently I need an outlet for my creative juices. Being a stay at home mom, most of the juices I deal with are those flowing freely from my son's "No Leak" sippy cups (what a crock) onto the off white carpet (what a dumb idea). Her guidance is this: you have to have something to let readers know what your about. Ignoring the grammatical error in her advice, I think she is correct... so here goes nothing.

My name is Lynn and I am a Stay at Home Mom. Read that with same deadpan voice as an alcoholic at their first AA meeting. I grew up never wanting kids. I can say that because my kids are not old enough to read it anyway. I never dreamt of marriage and children or any of that Good Housekeeping nonsense. Instead, I wanted to be a... what? I had no idea. I wanted to be some sort of successful something, but with the acquisition of an astonishingly useless BA in English, I wasn't off to a fantastic start. My first job was as an Office Manager for a division of the Indiana Department of Correction and what should have been an 8 week assignment turned into a four year career in Human Resources. I assume it happened in similar fashion to Gilligan and his three hour tour. Only instead of just getting off the island, I managed to hook myself a husband in the process. Who knew that geek with the bowl cut and teen angst black leather trench coat would become my one and only? That is, until George Clooney calls. I have had that easy out clause since day one and I am not giving it up now that he is single again.

With the husband came his daughter from his first marriage. Another thing I never planned. At that time she lived with her mother and was a pleasant but brief visitor every other weekend. A year and a half ago, her mother made it clear that she had no business holding that title, and Tabbi came to live with us. Surprise! Its a girl... a now 9 year old girl who lives here full time and has become the number one cause of my frown lines and gray hair. As I write this, she is passing me a note from her teacher saying we need to call her to discuss schoolwork that Tabbi is not completing in class. I feel like I am going to be sent to the Principal's office.

Two other developments that lead to me switching from HR professional to completely unprofessional domestic engineer are my sons, Will and Jack. Will is 2 years and 4 months, and my friend (Homa again) says that he is just a head nod away from being Rain Man. He has more energy than a cheerleading squad on uppers and is a giant for his age. So, he is able to do just about anything he wants to do because he can reach it all. Jack is 7 weeks, and following in his brother's footsteps of gigantism, so I look forward to the deja vu all over again.

Other than that, I have a great group of friends whose daily exploits will keep me in blog posts for the rest of my life. I also have a crazy grandmother who lives with my parents (she almost moved in with us, but we really dodged a bullet there) and it goes without saying that my fourth child (or husband as he prefers to be called) is nonstop entertainment (once I stop being pissed at whatever he's doing at that moment). I hope any readers enjoy this, and that we can start a dialog about everything or nothing, in the hopes that I can stave off the asylum for a little while longer knowing others are out there in similar situations!


Homa said...

A warning to all... Make sure all your comments are grammatically correct and there is proper use of punctuations marks. Trust me, she will call you out!

Amie said...

I am so glad you're finally writing a blog! I still think you can follow in the steps of Jen Lancaster and end up with a book deal if you really wanted it! :o)

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Homa... I promise to ignore all future typos if everyone promises to ignore mine.

Amie... You've discovered my master plan!!! Who needs to work when you can blog your way to a book deal.