Monday, September 14, 2009

A Letter to Kanye - AKA A Verbal Bitchslap

Dear Kanye,

You are a tool.

Love,
Lynn

PS.... For the record, I am not a fan of Taylor Swift. I can't name a single song of hers. For the record again, I can't name a single song of yours either. Oops. Must add "watch MTV" to my to-do list so that I can figure out who you people are. But, I do know who Beyonce is. I even saw her in concert once with Destiny's Child (yeah...that one college student in the crowd of preteens... that was me). So, it is safe to say I am a fan of hers. And, I am admittedly videoly-challenged, but I have even seen the "Single Ladies" video and I really like it. Catchy stuff. But, Kanye, that don't make you right, OK?

Beyonce's video could be hands down the best video ever vidoed in the history of that channel that used to show music videos but now just shows shows about spoiled brats and knocked up cheerleaders... but that doesn't mean you throw a temper tantrum on national TV. That doesn't mean you storm on stage in the middle of someone's acceptance speech and piss on her. You may disagree with the winner, Kanye, but guess what? It's not up to you. Little hint from me to you, the world doesn't revolve around your opinions. Now, I recognize the world doesn't revolve around my opinions either, but I am not taking a live TV broadcast hostage to promote mine. I am just typing here for whoever chooses to read it. And, I will admit that I am not a terribly nice person. I tend to be a little snipey, snippy, bitchy and may have earned the nickname Luci (short for Lucifer) at one point in my life. But, even if I don't like someone, I don't feel the need to poo on their shoes. You could have gone home and written on your grammatically odd and weirdly spelled website (that I will not put here because I am not going to promote your stupidity to the masses) whatever you wanted about who won what at something OH SO IMPORTANT like the MTV Music Video Awards. Thank goodness you don't waste your time and energy speaking out about something important, like health care, when you can devote your time to little moon man statues and music videos.

And a little FYI for you to tuck away for future temper tantrums... Kanye, no one takes you seriously anyway. Your opinion ranks up there right next to getting culinary advice from Chef Boyardee. Once you threw your first tantrum in 2007 and vowed to NEVER participate in an MTV event again, and then signed on to perform the very next year at the VMAs, you lost any credibility you may have once had. Pathetic media whore, party of one, your table is ready. Please enjoy your happy meal.

This is just not how adults behave, little Kanye. So, let me give you just a wee piece of advice for future performances... stick a pacifier in it, baby boy. No one cares about your opinions, and some of us get enough crying babies at home... we don't need to watch it on TV. But, hey, kudos for the crop circle hair design. I will say, I thought that was very nice.

4 comments:

Jenny Brown said...

What a GREAT post.........I totally agree with you.......I sat in awe during his "rant" on live TV and couldn't believe it........Poor Taylor Swift! And "Kudos" to Beyonce for letting Taylor have her time on the stage! How classy!

Kanye made a spectacle of himself and made himself look like a fool. I'm certainly not a fan of his! (Never was, and never will be!)

Busy Bee Suz said...

You are so right...I cracked up through your entire post.
I have thought very little of this little tool since Hurrican Katrina hit and he came out and said: "George Bush hates black people" in reference to the poor stability of the levees. Yeah he did that on purpose.
Tool. Total tool. Great one Lynn.

bernthis said...

pathetic media whore, table for one, you got it!

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Jenny - Thanks! I am glad so many people see that junk for what it was.

Suz - I totally forgot about that! He is even more of a tool than I thought!

Bern - Sometimes, I kinda wish I could be a media whore. Is that wrong?