Thoughts On A T Ball Game...

The following are thoughts occurring in a mother's mind during her son's first T Ball game. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

• I am so excited! My little man looks so cute in his hat and his mitt and his little T shirt!
• Geez, is it hot.
• Look at him with his team. He is such a big boy now!
• Holy crap.... it is really hot.
• Ok, they are lining up! Take me out to the ballgame! Take me out to the crowd....
• Good God Almighty, it is freaking crazy hot.
• Oh look... our team, the Porcini Mushrooms are up first. Go team!
• Ok, seriously, am I outside or did I take a wrong turn and enter an oven?
• Ooo, my son Niblet is at bat! Come on, Niblet! Ugh.... strike one. Thank God in the 4/5 year olds they don't matter because Niblet is missing everything. Wait, that pitch sucked. Niblet could be great if there was another pitcher. Oh.... time for the T. Oh well, why call it T Ball if they aren't going to use the T? It just makes more sense this way. Good job, Niblet. You are upholding the integrity of the game!
• It's a hit! Niblet hit! Wait... run to 1st, Niblet. No! Drop the bat! No... don't run to the pitcher's mound. Run to 1st. Niblet! Drop the bat. HEY! NIBLET! STOP SWINGING THE BAT AT THE OTHER TEAM!!!!
• Phew! Niblet didn't hurt anyone.
• Damn. It is too damn hot.
• Ok, the Porcini Mushrooms are fielding now. Come on, Niblet! Ohh! He is going for the ball. Oh, he got it but fell. Get up, Niblet.
• Ok, Niblet. It's ok. You scraped your arm, but really... it's a sports injury! Be happy! It's your first one. Now you are a man! Ok, it's hard to be a man if you're crying that hard. Seriously... Niblet.... calm down. You aren't even bleeding. Ok... you can cry through one batter and then you have to go out there and field. Ok.... after this batter you have to go back. Niblet, seriously, this is the last batter you get to sit out through. Haven't you heard, there's no crying in baseball. Really... buddy, calm down. GET OUT TO THE FREAKING FIELD!!!!!
• Hmmm.... I wonder if other people are as annoyed at my son as I am? Hmmm. Coach Thingamagig is for sure.
• Hmmm.... I wonder if anyone else feels like their skin is being flayed off their body from this stinking sun?
• Hey, Niblet! Stay on the field! Oh, thank God. It's time for the Porcini Mushrooms to bat again.
• Huh, Niblet is walking the bases instead of running.
• Huh, I no longer give a rat's ass about this game because I have officially become well done.
• Huh.... we have to do this again next week.
• Shit.