Do you ever put the kids down for a nap, miraculously... both at the same time...and then sit down with a soda and your Tivoed Real World/Road Rules Challenge (hypothetically, of course... cuz who watches that stuff) only to hear the worst sound ever made. WAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I find myself in a constant state of "what was that? Did you hear that? Which kid was that?" And, I don't mind saying, I am a little bit sick of it. I come downstairs with Will this morning and get him to the potty, get his breakfast, nuke my leftover pizza (the breakfast of champions), all the while listening. Thinking about turning on the monitor, but that just makes the WAAAAHHHH that much louder. I prefer the semi-muted WAHHHH of the natural cry as opposed to the magnified WAHHH of a speaker. As soon as my microwave signals me with the triple beep... I hear it. WAAAHHHHHH. Pizza abandoned. I am a trained Jack retriever. Just brush me occasionally and leave me a bowl of water and I am good to go.
Later, I will shower. (Yes, its 10:29am and I am still in my pjs... and truth be told, I have been in them since 4:30pm yesterday. Ha. Stay home moms rule). I will put Jack down for his morning nap soon and I will shower... all the while holding my shoulders up to my ears with the tension of knowing that any minute.... while shampooing.... while brushing teeth.... if I am lucky, I will make it all the way to make up and hair before the dreaded WAAAAAHHHHHHH starts again.
Even later, I will put them down for a nap (God willing, at the same time). And I will attempt to get things done. I will make phone calls, I will fold laundry, I will bake banana bread (no kidding... its really on my "to do" list today). But, I will do the whole list creeping around, afraid to speak above a whisper for fear that they will hear me. That I will get a premature WAAHHHHH or MAAAAMMMMMAAAA depending on the kid.
Latest, I will be in bed tonight. I will have the Jack TV on and I will sleep the restless sleep of a parent that knows the second she falls asleep the child will awaken. Times two, since there are two kids. I know that if I hit that blessed REM that others speak of but I don't quite recall, I will be ripped from it with a WAAAHHHH of epic proportion.
I remember a time when I lived alone and I would hear the windows creak with wind and be frightened at the noise. I would hear scratchings of bushes on my bedroom window and the house settling like footsteps and would jump wondering "what is that sound?" Only now do I realize what a terrifying sound really is. It doesn't make you wonder if there's someone in your house. You know there is someone in your house... and you know that the peace and quiet that you may experience at that moment is going to be short lived.... you just don't know when it will strike. WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!