Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Soul Mates or Sole Mate?

For some reason, the term "soul mate" has come up a lot recently. There is Governor Yayhoo of South Carolina who said he'd like to make it work with his wife, but in the same breath admitted his mistress was his soul mate. And, before that, my friend Homa (while contemplating her love life) asked me if I thought Mark was my soul mate. Luckily, I swallowed my soda before I spewed Diet Coke all over the phone in my laughter. Mark is a lot of things, but soul mate? I dunno. There is even a Sex in the City episode about looking for a man to fulfill that title. But, as the fab four concluded, I just am not sure its possible.

Last night Mark and I had a pretty long convo about our relationship. Neither one of us was 100% happy, and at times, I think we both settled for roughly 50/50. So, we talked about what we both wanted the other to do to get us back on track. While having that discussion, the soul mate question came up again, if only in my mind. I laughed at the Governor who readily admitted his wife was not his soul mate and considered him the dumbest man on Earth, but then realized, I don't think Mark is mine either. (Although, neither is some Latin love God in Argentina. Dammit.) But, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing (at least in our case).

I don't know exactly who my soul mate is. Or if it is limited to just one person. In some regard, it is probably my mom. I know, dork - party of one. I probably talk to her more than any person on the planet, and topics range from kid antics to hair dye to money issues to... well, any random thing on my mind at that moment. Lucky gal! Then there are my girls. My Homa, Laura and Lori who also get the brunt of my insanity. But, unlike Mark, they know how to deal with it. If I am having a problem, they say the right things... even when those things are "Lynn, you're being stupid so leave Mark alone."

I don't think that Mark and I have a bad relationship just because I wouldn't call him a soul mate. I can't call him and discuss the inner sanctum of girl world like muffin tops (because he would say "what flavor") or my lack of self worth in my current uh... occupation (because he says that I do "the most important job in the world" and while that is the appropriate canned response and I know he believes it... its still not what I want to hear), and God knows I can't come to him with issues about... well... him. But, I think the key is knowing that I can and will come to him about the "us" stuff, and knowing that going to others about the "other stuff" will hopefully keep us afloat.

Oh, and knowing that my soul mates are all chicks and not Fernando is pretty safe, too. Dammit!


Tuffy said...

Everyone has trouble. No one is 100% happy for any length of time. The best relationships are a ton of work. It's just the way it is.

The best part though is the fact that you guys talked about it. Where most people go wrong is that they don't.

Whatever happened to date night?

Captcha: menica

Busy Bee Suz said...

Funny how you put it....I think you have the best of both worlds.

Allvira said...

Both the words are different & also have different relationship. You have explained it very well. Its possible for anyone. Not me & not you. anyone??

TexInTheCity said...

I agree that the best part of the conversation between you and your honey is that you actually HAD the conversation.

You and your relationship rule. Others who don't put in the time and effort to make their relationships better drool!


CincyChick23 said...

Sounds like the typical stuff couples go through. You just gotta nip it in the bud. Grass is always greener, but the truth is with kids you have to make it work. You are soul mates now whether you know it or not. Things will never be perfect, you have to work at it. Even if that means going to counciling together. Don't be a statistic. Work it out.

♥ Braja said...

Nice post, Ms Goddess :) Yeah, this soul mate thing? Possibly as much of a marketing scam as the diamond engagement ring....