Property Laws of a Toddler

Mark's Grandmother, Eleanor, sent us the cutest little snippet about toddlers. I have no clue where it came from, so I can't give credit, but it made me laugh out loud so I am going to copy it here.

• If I like it, it's mine.


• If it's in my hand, it's mine.


• If I can take it from you, it's mine.


• If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.


• If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.


• If it looks like mine, it's mine.


• If I saw it first, it's mine.


• If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.


• If it's broken, it's yours.

As the mother of a toddler, who mastered the "mine" concept promptly upon his 2nd birthday, I have a few more to add.

• If I see it on tv, it had better be mine stat.


• If it used to be my dinner but now it's in my diaper, it's yours and you better clean it up fast because I am going to squirm and kick until my mess is shared with the whole ottoman.


• If I stopped wanting it a few minutes ago, but Tabbi looked in it's direction, it's mine again.


• If it's sharp, pointy, hot or dangerous in any other way, shape or form, it's totally mine.


• If it's medicine (other than the pink stuff), ear drops, or a Kleenex, it's yours and you better keep it away from me.


• If it belongs to someone else, fits in my hand, mouth, or the couch cracks, it's mine and you will never see it again.


• If it makes loud noises, it's mine the second Jack drifts off to sleep.


• If it will cause my parents any embarrassment, it's mine and I will exercise my right to use it at the most inopportune times.

Now that we've got that settled... parenting a toddler will be much easier to figure out.