Monday, January 18, 2010

5 Seconds in the Life of Will...

Will is laying in my bed this morning. We're all awake, but he's just cuddling and rolling around... just playing contentedly. I go to lean toward him, he simultaneously hurls himself toward me. My left knee hits his nose. Much crying ensues.

Jack starts screaming, too, because he doesn't understand, so I lift him onto the bed where I am cradling Will and his broken nose trying to soothe the pain with my kisses. Jack flops down face first, and I assume is using his head and arms to try and pass Will's sobbing body. Will shrieks louder and I realize Jack isn't trying to get past him... he is biting the crap out of Will's leg as evidenced by the tooth marks and bloody bruised gash. Much more crying ensues.

I rip Jack off of Will's battered body and I get in his face and sternly say (aka yell) that we don't bite. Jack then grabs the conveniently located remote (aka projectile missile) and sends it at lightening speed right into Will's jaw. Much much more crying ensues.

So, the moral of this story is.... ONLY HAVE ONE KID!

And, just to add one more chapter, about 5 minutes pass and Will is resting comfortably under the covers, still slightly whimpering in pain when Jack chases my 35 pound beagle onto the bed. Bentley flies onto Will's lap out of sheer terror and promptly Will's screams begin again as he's howling "BENTLEY'S ON MY WEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sucks to be Will... that's all I'm saying.

3 comments:

Tuffy said...

Is it bad when I read this and laugh? And I don't mean bad that I'm laughing at Will's pain, but more that I'm at work laughing out loud at my computer screen. These invoices i'm supposed to be looking at generally aren't very funny.

captcha: drokele

Amie said...

I think that it's possible Jack did shred Tabbi's curtains. She was just wrong about the tool used. It wasn't scissor, it was his teeth.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mike - Have you thought about pretending to sneeze? I have seen people do it to cover farts. Maybe it works better to cover the laughing.

Amie - Genius! I should have thought of that.