Irreconcilable Differences

Right now, Mark and I are suffering from a major difference of opinion. It may even rival the great "Choking versus Drowning" debate of 2005 that almost lead to our wedding being cancelled. And while this topic is equally as inconsequential as that one, apparently it is going to be the catalyst for fights for the rest of our lives. And what is this monumental crisis that we can't seem to get past? Car keys. Car. Keys. Car keys left in the car. Oh yes. My name is Lynn, and I am known to leave my car keys in the car. I am 13 hours and 45 minutes rehabilitated, having brought the keys into the house when we returned from my mom's last night. But... I may fall off the wagon. Quitting is hard to do.

Some of you are probably thinking that I am nuts for leaving my keys in my car. I could get the car stolen, or worse... my DVD player and Madonna CD collection could be toast. But, I live in Tamesville, where nothing ever, EVER happens. I have seen the cops in our neighborhood twice since I've lived here, and both times were because I accidentally dialed 911. Oops! Plus, I am sorry, but I got my hands FULL. You try bringing in two giants, plus a diaper bag, plus a purse and keys when you don't have any pockets. That ain't easy. And yes, I could take a second trip out, but that all depends on what stage Jack and Will are at on their quest for world domination. Sometimes, walking out the door and back just isn't an option. Then, I admit it. I forget. I juggle nap times, recipes, roof estimates, our schedules, our bills, our bank accounts, our rental properties, what time Jack ate last, why the fish keep dying, and whether or not I should pluck my eyebrows versus waiting til the next wax. Its exhausting. Sometimes the little stuff slips.

Now don't get me wrong. I understand Mark's point of view. Take keys in.... world stays safe. I see the logic in that. I am not some crazy person who would park down in Ghettoville and leave my keys in the ignition. I am even making a concerted effort to bring them in at home (after being locked out of my car twice recently because my purse was in the car, with my keys, and Mark locked it after driving it last). We also decided that the second set of keys could hang in the house instead of in his pocket at work all day when he isn't driving the van. Makes sense, right? And, I will actually add "remember to bring in purse and keys" to the list of things running through my so-called brain all day long. Excellent compromise. But, yesterday, at my parents' house (possibly a neighborhood safer than mine because the over 90 crowd that lives there can't see over my steering wheel to drive away in the car anyway) I had no pockets and I left the keys in the car. This event will go down in history as the cause of World War III. We'll just have to wait and see who breaks out the nuclear arsenal first... the Allies or the Axis of Evil Car Key Leaver Iners.