Monday, February 2, 2009

I'll show you fat!!!

Its Monday morning. Its early (in my world) and I am tired. Jack slept through the night, but Will didn't, so I have a little crabbiness going on. Plus, Mondays always hit me hard. So, forgive me if this post is a little negative... a bit snarky... and just well... mean. Its in my nature at 7:50 on a Monday to not be very nice. The good news is that I am going to aim this Italian temper at those who really deserve it. Namely... the media. I am going to drop the R word on them right off the bat. Really? Really, media people? Are you that stupid? Why? Because of this:

Are you kidding me? Is this really the standard that we are going to set for women these days? Alert the media, fire up the presses.... Jessica Simpson actually has a chest and an ass. SHE HAS CURVES!!! Light the torches, let's burn her at the stake. This woman is gorgeous and while I would take aim at her stylists for what is a hideous outfit (I'm sorry is she dating Tony Romo or Ant'ony Romano "Mafia Kingpin," because in that getup its hard to tell). But seriously... if the world is going to sit here and judge her because she doesn't look like one of those stick insects that now grace all tween/teen tv shows, then we as a society are in trouble. Hey Katie Holmes... the praying mantises would like to know when you're going to eat Tom Cruise's head because you're running a little behind!!!

Now, I am guilty of watching the new 90210 and look at these girls. Is that really what we think that our teenage girls should look like? Where are her breasts? I am pretty sure she, as a female, is supposed to have them. She looks like a freakin' lollipop. Don't get me wrong, I think she is very attractive, but how many of us go out in public in fear of being blown over by a sneeze? Wouldn't it be nice for this young girl to fill out that skirt, instead of requiring an A line number just to give the illusion of a butt and thighs? If she wore a pencil skirt she really would have the same shape as a pencil! And don't fill up my comments with your anger because you are a size 0 and no matter how many pints of Ben and Jerry's you eat, you still resemble this girl. First of all, I don't want to hear it because I inhale oxygen and gain 10 pounds (I won't get into what happens when I inhale B&J's, but it ain't pretty), and secondly that is not my point. There are millions of shapes and sizes in our world and I applaud them all when they come naturally. I just reserve the right to openly mock the super skinny ones. Deal with it.

Now plenty of people could read this and call me bitter. Its probably true. I could wear Jessica Simpson's outfit, but only half of me would fit into it. I am not thin, and I have come to terms with the fact that I am probably not ever going to be, barring major illness (which I pray stays barred). The thing is, I truly don't take offense for myself. I don't even take offense for Jessica Simpson. She is in the media, thus opening herself up to criticism. Comes with the job. But, I am offended for all of the little girls who have seen the picture of Jessica Simpson and now have it imprinted on their brains that her body is fat. Are we that irresponsible as a society that we are going to pass that message along as if its correct? I even blame two of my favorite shows, Good Morning America and The View. Both shows echoed my sentiments that this allegation of obesity is preposterous, but then both shows brought on experts to deduce how much Simpson weighs based on these photos and they brought on diet experts to determine how she should work off the poundage. Hypocritical, party of two!
Jessica Simpson, while guilty of wearing Donna Gotti's wardrobe, is not guilty of needing a diet or analysis of her weight. She is doing her thing despite constant negative publicity about her brain being too small and now her body being too big. I am not a fan of hers, as far as her music goes, but I can respect the voice that chick has and I respect her ability to take it in the face as often as she has and she keeps coming back for more. I challenge those media people who snap the pics and write the slogans to stand on a stage in front of thousands so that we can get a gander at what they look like. Because I am pretty sure they don't have anything on Jessica Simpson! Take a shower, cut your hair, wash your clothes, use a little something we like to call a razor (only $1.99 if you go for disposable), and Mr. Do Rag.. the 70s called and they want your look back. Not so fun when you are on the receiving end, huh? That's for us real fat girls (Jessica Simpson doesn't apply)... we may weigh more, but we still look better than you!


Mark said...

Ok her outfit was not in the least flattering but I thought she looked good.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree.....the media is a bunch of life suckers. Sucking the fun out of sick of hearing it all.

Crazy Mo said...

This is why I don't read fashion magazines or watch fashion television. The fashion industry and media need to stop using models that are a size zero. And they need to stop making clothes that are tailored for 12 year old boys. Real women have boobs, a waist and hips!

BOSSY said...

It truly is ridiculous. R-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s.

Karen said...

You tell 'em. I was outraged by the Simpson comments on the media. I was also outraged that I've had the flu for 24 hours AND GAINED A POUND. Where is the fairness in life?

Amie said...

I agree.

I'm not sure why Jessica is news. I don't understand why the media is giving this publicity, and talking about it. And, actually, I hate all celebrity gossip...especially this kind. I think that someone took an unflattering picture of Jessica at a bad angle when she was wearing bad jeans, and it blew into her being fat (which is so obviously isn't). She evidently pissed someone off, and it's be mean to Jessica week.

As for the 90210 girl, I kinda want to slap her. She spoke out about how people criticize her and others for being so thin when that's just her natural build and she can't do anything about it. I really feel for her. That must suck a lot. I also don't agree...she COULD do something about it.

the mama bird diaries said...

I can't believe how much makeup "high school girls" wear on TV. It's CRAZY. Of course, I still watch the new 90210 too.

bernthis said...

Sadly, my friend, there are people who actually get off on dissecting every one b/c they are fucking miserable with their own lives.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mark - Like you have any taste... oh wait... nevermind.

Suz - Media sucks, that is for sure.

Mo & Bossy - Amen, sisters!

Karen - I always look forward to the flu for a quick and easy diet. Karen - That is totally unfair.

Amie - Yeah, I am going to cry a river for the poor emaciated 90210 girl. How she suffers!!!

Mama Bird - Do you think there is something wrong with us for watching it? I mean, its good, educational TV, right???

Bern- I kinda resemble that remark.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I see celebrity "stick people" on TV I usually shout out, "Eat some FOOOOOOD, stupid!!"
That's followed by guilt for having such mean thoughts about someone who has obviously never felt the delicious high of mushing raw chocolate chip cookie dough around in their mouth. Then my guilt fades with the thought, "Great! More for the rest of us!"