Friday, January 30, 2009

14s Enough...

Ok, let the claws come out and the meows begin because its catty time! I have a little something to say, and I am feeling a bit ranty anyway, so I am taking it out on a poor woman that I don't even know. On the flip side, she probably ain't going to read this anyway so let's start the fur flying.

What in God's name is some woman doing having eight babies on top of the six kids she already has? Really, lady? I mean... really. Maybe everyone else already knew this, but I am a little slow on the news uptake as I have three kids and that keeps me from all things "adult" (and Mark will second the all things part). Does this woman not have the hectic life that I do? Because the idea of adding one more child (let alone eight) is about as appealing as digging my eyeballs out with a spoon. I thought this was some couple desperate for a family who was seeking fertility treatments because they'd been trying for children for years and blah blah blah, but no!!! This woman lives with mommy and daddy and has six kids already. I am all for fielding your own family football team if that is your choice, but you gotta be able to raise them. That is my one caveat on the childbirth limit and I hold the world and myself to the same standard. (That is why this baby factory is closed). If you can't financially, physically or emotionally raise those kids on your own, then you shouldn't have more children. Full stop (as the Brits say). This woman lives with her parents to raise the six she's got. Can they all handle 14? What is she going to do if her parents die? God forbid, she may inherit some funds but who is going to change those eight diapers while she chases her twin toddlers while the other four need a ride to school?

I don't blame this woman for not wanting to abort some of the implanted eggs that developed into fetuses. This is not a blog about picking some lives over others. I think if I were told that I had eight babies living in me, I would keep all eight as well. I feel that the reproductive team that allowed this to happen is at fault. Those babies face a much higher chance of developmental problems because there were eight of them. Not to mention, a little bit of common sense for the future kiddos. (I threw in kiddos in honor of the fab four... they know why). I get that the doctors said they don't have the right to say how big a family should be, but what about those eight kids and their right to be raised... not herded? I understand the challenges of reproductive issues (ok, I got pregnant on birth control, so I don't really... but I know people who have gone through it) and I know that the higher number of eggs implanted means the greater chance of one working, but this woman already had six kids. And not at one time, so she had six kids from five viable pregnancies. This is not someone who is struggling in fertility land. So, why would that reproductive team feel the need to implant eight? Why not go with two or three? Granted, I don't know the situation, and I am in a angsty mood today anyway, but come on?? I have three kids and some days (hello, all days) that feels like three too many. I question how 14 are going to get the love, attention and adoration in a one on one capacity that they deserve. I told you I was going to be catty... call me Fluffy for the rest of the post.

Hey, if she can do it... I guess she can write her own blog and prove me wrong, but I am saying that I find it incredibly irresponsible. Just because Jon and Kate Plus 8 gets their own tv show to fund their family doesn't mean you will, Ms. Anonymous Plus 14. I love my kids, but that doesn't mean I want to crank out 11 more. My friend Laura once told me the best advice when it comes to how many children to have. They stopped at two and she said, "After that get dogs." Just kidding.... that's my advice. She really said that she and her husband talked about having more, but then just decided that they should do the best they could with the two they've got. So, a little shout out to our single mommy of 14 living at home with her 'rents.... maybe you ought to do the best you can with the 14 you've got and leave the fertility treatments to those who need it!

15 comments:

Busy Bee Suz said...

I saw this yesterday on Inside Edition...is it really true though? I was not a believer. What fertility Dr. would do ANYTHING with her if she already has 6 kids? really?
I hope it is not true that she already has 6.
I suppose we will find out.And yeah, stuff like that really irks me too.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Suz - I am getting my 411 from an Associated Press article reproduced on the Yahoo mainpage. "A 7-year-old and 6-year-old " appeared with the grandfather when he made a statement and "The mother also has two children, ages 5 and 3, and 2-year-old twins, neighbors told the Times." So, that's 6. I am astounded and disgusted by her physicians.

J.D. said...

Right on, Fluffy! That's one kitty that should have considered spaying before fertilzation.

Crazy Mo said...

Don't even get me started! I'm guessing that whatever quack agreed to fertilize her was doing it for the money.

Momo-Mama said...

'm totally getting a puppy and calling it my third child...I already told my huuby that it will sleep with me, wear clothes and have a front pack for me to carry it around in...I'm just crazy like that....

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

J.D. - Amen, brother.

Crazy Mo - Seriously... that office hear of ethics much?

Momo-Mama - You are on the right track there!

Amie said...

Besides all that you said, I'm wondering how this woman found the money to pay for the fertility treatment, from what I hear, that aint cheap! And, where exactly are the "rules" on fertility treatments? If you have six kids already, chances are you don't really need it (of course, I don't know all of the details...). I can't go to the doctor and demand morphine if I don't need it, yet she can go have fertility treatment just because she wants it?
Perhaps she's trying to catch up with the Duggars but doesn't want to waste so many years being pregnant, you'll catch up much quicker if you pop out eight at a time.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I wonder, too, where the money is coming from. Her mother says she was against the whole thing, but since this woman lives with her parents... I am pretty sure they must be footing the bill.

Karen MEG said...

Hi there, and thanks for stopping by my blog and posting that lovely comment. It's nice to find new readers who comment even when the post is a sad one.

Okay, so I just found out about this story myself because I've been mired in the medical system for my Dad for an entirely different reason for the last month and a half.. and I am absolutely astounded that she already had 6 kids!!! Sure, the doctors

Fertility treatments are wonderful (and as others have noted, NOT CHEAP!!) and I for one am the biggest fan (for without, I would not have my two wonderful children). In Canada, at least as far as I'm aware, there certainly are limits to the number implanted...but she is only 30???? And a single mother????

I was hesitant to go ahead with more than one when I was 39 with a history of infertility. Although the doctors certainly have some explaining to do from an ethical standpoint, uh, what was going on in this woman's head???!!!

Anyway, nice to "meet" you, and I'll be back :)

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Karen - Thanks for reading. I totally agree that fertility treatments are amazing. I know people who have benefitted from the success.... but, I just wish all those pursuing it were responsible enough to make the right choices.

Mark said...

There should be a requirement for psychological evaluation before undergoing that treatment. Not that would necessarily stop this from ever happening again but it would make it less likely.

Jounice said...

I totally agree with Mark. There should be some kind of psychological testing that should go on, because this woman is clearly nuts!

Any doctor that would agree to this when the woman already had 6 children, the youngest two are a set of twins, should probably have his license/practice put through some kind of investigation. This woman clearly does not have a problem becoming pregnant. I think this procedure should be for persons who it is obvious have a problem with conceiving not people who clearly have nothing else to do.

bernthis said...

I did infertility and had four implanted and that is a lot. There are getting better at detecting abnormal embryos and I thought i heard they had a law or are going to have one that says you can't implant more than three. The fertility place here should be shut down. What they did was criminal in my mind and let me say this, if this woman does get a tv show, I swear to you, I'm cancelling my direct tv and tossing out all my televisions.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mark - Keep in mind that if we had to undergo psychological testing, we probably wouldn't have Will or Jack.

Jounice - Don't go agreeing with Mark. Gives him a big head.

Bern - I agree 100%. I can't even do Jon and Kate Plus 8. If I wanted to watch unruly kids running around and screaming, I would turn off the TV!

Mark said...

We didn't have Will and Jack implanted we were nuts the old fashion way