Thursday, October 23, 2008

Seriously Boring

I have come to the conclusion that I am totally boring. B O R I N G. I have a boring life, and have nothing but mundane experiences in my past, present and future. Why this boring pity fest? Well, I have come back into contact with some folks from my past and that has gotten me thinking. They are leading such interesting lives, and what do I do? I have kids. Anyone can do that. And spare me the whole "motherhood is a magical thing" blah blah blah. Even stoned out Courtney Love manages motherhood, so let's not get the ticker tape parade lined up just yet.

I moved to Overland Park, Kansas when I was in 8th grade and I met a girl named Julia Francis. She was my first friend there. I just reconnected with her on Facebook (so I guess I do keep in touch with people after all... maybe I should delete the old entry that said I didn't). She is in her last year of residency in Pediatrics in Philadelphia. She lives Grey's Anatomy. I just watch it on tv. Score one for the interesting team...

Facebook also lead me to my best friend from High School, Bess Price. She was always one of those people who you knew could do anything. How annoying is that? She was smart and talented and beautiful (I hate those people, too) and sickeningly sweet and endearing so you couldn't even hate her for being so perfect. We lost touch when we went to different colleges, and now I find that she is living in the Austrian Alps getting her doctorate in the evolution of intelligence and she works with ravens. I have a beagle and study the evolution of intelligence in a two year old who just washed his hair with hand soap. The evolution is a slow process in this house. I believe living in the Austrian Alps with ravens is worth more than just one point, so I am giving her a touch down and the extra point. So the new score is Other Interesting People 8, Lynn 0.

In thinking about my interesting friends from the past, I wondered about my friends from the present. Are they interesting or on my team? Well, my friend Homa escaped Afghanistan in the trunk of a car when she was 4. Score 9 to 0. Lori escaped an abusive husband and got pregnant at 40 and has a grandson who is 11 months older than her daughter. So her grandson's aunt is younger than him. Twisted, perhaps.... interesting, definitely. 10 to 0. Laura has the 411 on all the cool happenings you never thought you would want to do, like church festivals that are better than amusement parks and Amish auctions. Not to mention that she can give you the definition of a cockerell and pullet and its not dirty like it sounds. She's totally "Little House on the Prairie" interesting. Yep, 11 points. At this point, its getting too depressing to keep listing how my current friends are more interesting than I am. Its time for me to get in the shower, so I guess I'll see what interesting thing my kid does and live vicariously through him. And if you don't hear back from me, I moved to Norway to get my medical degree and study pygmy goats while hiding from a fascist regime, planning to get pregnant in 11 years and raising chickens. One point, me!

5 comments:

Amie said...

Philadelphia is gross...so point to you for picking a nicer, cleaner city to live in. And Pediatrics? Come on, you now how strong little people germs are...she's probably sick all of the time from the germs. Point to you for only being around your own kids all day, and sharing their germs.

And studying ravens...? Seriously, what could be more boring than bird watching? Unless, of course, it was the in depth study you recently did...the hunting habits of hawks with the use of playhouse roofs. Did you tell her about that? And the Alps? Come on, there's probably 14' of snow there. Who wants to shovel that? Points to you for choosing a more entertaining way to live your life in a warmer climate.

And...if you were to start comparing yourself to your boring friends, I think your point value would go up much quicker. Me, for example, I'm beyond boring...you can surely find several points there some where.

SchafhausenHansen said...

Well I have only begun starting to read your blogs, but I find them fascinating and interesting. you have a really good way with words, and i think no matter where someone is in the world, lives can and are boring. everything looks better on the other side of the fence, you know. if it makes you feel any better, i often wonder what it will be like to have kids one day and felt sorta left out of that club. of understanding that life. so score 1 more point lynn. someone is jealous of you. :)

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Amie - I am sure Julia and Bess would be thrilled to know you think they are boring!!! For the record, I think someone about to move in with a boy for the first time, embarking on a complete home remodel (if you can get a contractor to actually talk to you)and who gets to travel all over the place for work shouldn't pretend like they are boring.

Julie - Sames goes for you, sister!!! People with exciting NATO careers living in Germany shouldn't pretend to be jealous of Hoosier stay home moms! Plus, you just started trying to have a kid so once you succeed you will really trump me!!!

So thanks for trying, guys!!!

tuffy said...

but you make boring really interesting.

and besides, i need you to be boring. it's not like i'm holding my breath on kids of my own...

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mike - Then move closer to take full advantage. We have addicts and homeless people here. Lots of them.