Wednesday, December 3, 2008

9-1-WHAT????

I had an encounter with THE MAN today. The fuzz, big 50 (I don't even know where those nicknames came from), a man in blue (although he wore black), the Po Po. Yes... I had an encounter with the police. Why, you ask? Is everything ok? Am I blogging from a Wi Fi prison cell right now? Well, yes, I answer (to the second question, no to the third). All is well except for the small fact that I have a habit of humiliating myself, like I did this morning.

As those of you who know me know, I have a mom calling habit. I talk to my mom easily three or four times a day (its been twice today and its 9:35a). This would be ok except her phone number is 917-number number number number (I am not giving you her full phone number... if she is busy talking to you, who I am going to talk to 4,000 times in the next hour?). My crappy cordless stuck and instead of dialing 917, I dialed 911. I hung up immediately. Called the correct number, began my diatribe in my mom's ear when "BEEP"... call waiting. I click over and its a lovely 911 operator making sure everything is ok. Nice response. I suppose if Charles Manson's younger Hoosier brother was here ready to slice off my head, I would appreciate the follow up. So, I explain to Ms. 911 Operator that all is fine, I tried to call mom, but called metro police instead. Oops. Laugh. Hang up. I then continue to talk my mom's ear off, ranting about life in general when I wander up the entryway and see.... a POLICE CRUISER parked outside my house. GAH! And a very authoritative and extremely attractive policeman exiting said cruiser and walking up my drive. DOUBLE GAH! What do I do? I really thought about running and hiding, but felt that could cause SWAT to be summoned or something. So, I humbly opened the door and explained to Officer Hotness that everything was fine, I dialed incorrectly... please come in and search the joint (or me... wink wink) so you know Chucky Manson isn't here. He stepped in, did a wide sweep with his gorgeous brown eyes (no doubt taking in my blindingly hot pink pj top, flannel plaid bottoms, unkempt hair from the lack of shower, and saggy boobs on the floor from the lack of bra) and decided all was right with the world... or at least with my household. No Lynn search necessary.

I have to give the police department props for their response. If I was about to be murdered, dialed 911 and had the phone ripped from my hands by my assailant, I would be thrilled with their concern and their two follow ups thus preventing my grisly death. But, seeing as how I just mis-dialed, am still in obnoxious pjs and no bra... I will just die of embarrassment instead. And do you want to know the worst part? While this scene happened as told this morning... its happened before. TWICE.

10 comments:

tuffy said...

assuming that is, in fact, a picture you took of the officer this morning, i think it's time for the avon police to get some more appropriate uniforms.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mike - Too true. In fact.. maybe he wasn't the police at all but a roving stripper. Hmm.

Belle said...

You are so lucky. I would rather call 911 than my mother on any given day. Way too much hard work engaging Mommy Dearest in conversation...

Mark said...

I so need to get a Police/Firefighter Uniform

SchafhausenHansen said...

Twice? really? but i could see how that could happen. they should ban any 9-1 anything numbers, its too easy to make a slip. I suppose you be glad they chech it out, should anything happen. at least you know the routine now.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Belle - I should give you my mom's number. She's pretty good. Although (no offense, Mom) that officer was cuter.

Mark - Yeah, not sure you'd look quite the same in it.

Julie - Yeah, twice. Although, in the interest of accurate math, this would be time number three.

Yo mama said...

You can't give out my number. I can't be anyone's surrogate mother. (Being yours is a full time job!)

Kristy said...

They always send out an officer even if you work in a department that works closely with them... and are reassuring them that you are fine. They state that regardless of what you tell them on the phone an officer has to come to the residence/business to ensure it was a false call. The state has a funky phone system now in the DSC branches... it loves to dial 911. I think someone dials it daily. LEA is so happy with us. And yes, I have had the pleasure of explaining my dunmbassness to a supervisor, dispatch, and an officer the one time I mistakenly dialed it.

Homa said...

Set off a false alarm at the bank and see how quickly they come. Guns drawn, peeking through windows, army crawls...the whole nine yards. Although, it was quite entertaining for us.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mom - Yeah well... I have you two grandkids. That ought to make up for it. Although it tends to take up even more of your time, so in Will's words "maybe not."

Kristy - At least at work you're dressed. Let me refer you to my To Lift or Not to Lift post to fully understand my trauma. Although I am not thinking its wise to try for my single gal readers out there. This office was way cute. I may misdial again today after I get ready. Kidding, Mark... really... maybe.

Homa - Now we know why you aren't at the bank anymore. Merger... sure.