Monday, December 1, 2008

Plotting Against Me...

I think that Jack is plotting against me. Despite his very sweet, very fat cheeks... he is really a sinister mastermind plotting to take over the world, one set of parents at a time. I am telling you... don't let the cherubic thing fool you... he's a plotter.

My little angel survived the 7 hour car trip to Osage Beach, MO both there and back like a champ. He barely made a peep, clearly trying to lull us into a false sense of security. But, once night fell in our lovely three bedroom condo serenely situated overlooking the lake, the real Jack emerged. This Jack would cry and cry until he drifted off to sleep... or so we thought. Then once he was in his pack and play, he would bide his time until the adult caring for him would drift off on a lovely trip to dreamland and then WHAM. Or more accurately WAH. The crying would start again. At the time, I chalked it up, not to evil debauchery, but to vacation stress. Babies like their routines and Jack is nothing if not a baby. Despite his 9 month attire, he is not yet 4 months old, so clearly, he was just following baby protocol. Right? RIIIIIIIIGHT. Or so he would like us to believe.

Last night he was laid to rest in his own crib (not in an RIP kind of way, but in a REM kind of way). He was cozy, warm and dressed in his favorite doggy feet pajamas. Ok, so he probably doesn't have a favorite, but they're Mark's favorite pajamas. I think if they made them for someone 6'3" with size 13 feet, Mark would wear them too and amuse himself for hours looking at the puppy heads where his feet should be. But, back to Jack. The little bugger went fast asleep at his regular hour and what? 10:35? Crying? Can't be. But yes... Jack was up. I fed him, watched a little Tivoed Desperate Housewives and he was off to sleep. I think it was the bottle, not the show that lulled him. Then Mark and I retired to our room for a blissful sleep after a little Tivoed Top Chef (despite our extreme fatigue from lack of sleep since Wednesday... we had to watch it. Its a food addiction neither Jenny Craig nor Weight Watchers can correct). And for the record, Goodbye, Richard... pack your knives and tissues and go. And just so you know, I totally thought it should be the blond guy offed, not the lovable gay, but Padma didn't ask me to judge so there you go. Anyhoo, back to Jack. I was about to hit my REM cycle when Jack was up at 12:35am. Totally Mark's turn. 3:00am: my turn. 5:17a: Mark's turn. 7:12am: my turn. No vacation bed or cold room to blame. No foreign location or central time zone to throw him off. What is he... suddenly a newborn again? This is ridiculous.

There is clearly only one reason for his behavior. He is using sleep deprivation as a form of torture (thanks, CIA, for teaching him that one). Just wait til he can turn on a faucet for some Chinese water torture (after he learns to sit up, crawl, walk and turn a handle... we've got awhile before this one becomes an issue). But he doesn't even have to resort to that, knowing that at some point I will go completely batty (like I am not already there) due to the lack of sleep and that is when he will make his move for worldwide domination. Just remember... you've been warned.

7 comments:

Mark said...

*Yawn* Amen

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Don't worry, he has been sleeping soundly since noon and its 1:33p. So, I think he isn't plotting, but he may be nocturnal.

OHmommy said...

Is it wrong that there is a whole generation of us parents that run for the digital camera instead if the ice pack when our kids get hurt?????

Absolutely!

Most bloggers "stage" their pictures to tell a story. Had the child been crying in the last picture... that would make it oh so very wrong. Don't you think?

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

For those of you confused, OHMommy at Classy Chaos posted a great post today telling the story of how her daughter got a mega goose egg on her forehead. I posted the question that she led with in her comment here.

Her response follows... but in fairness... although I emailed her my reply to her reply, I am also going to put it here for the masses to judge as well:

It probably would be wrong.. .but if the photo was going to be funny after the fact, I still may have done it. I am not going to lie... I tend to celebrate the moments of our lives way more often than I really should!!!

If nothing else... I expect an AMEN from Lori!!!!

Amie said...

So...I'm reading your blog, all is well, I'm reading about about babies and crying and lack of sleep...and then WHAM...Top Chef spoiler, out of the blue. I'm behind on ALL Bravo TV...and must be warned when spoilers are coming because although it might be common knowledge to the rest of the world, the winner of Project Runway, the winner of Top Design, what happens during Real Housewives of Atlanta and who gets kicked off of Top Chef past episode two are all spoilers for me...

Marinka said...

It's so hard when the CIA trains babies in the art of sleep deprivation. What happened to family values, people?!

I can't stop smiling at the thought of your husband in those pajamas. Or anyone's husband, really. Except my own. He wouldn't like that.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Amie - Wow... I am sorry. I know how that goes, as Homa spoiled the Westminster Kennel Club dog show for me last year and I haven't been the same since. I will be more aware of your tardy show watching in the future. And just so you know, I totally know who won Project Runway, but didn't watch Top Design or the Real Housewives of anywhere (because I can tell by the commercials that their realness isn't anywhere near mine).

Marinka - I wish I could say that my husband wouldn't be into the jammies, but notice that he commented and didn't negate the desire for those pjs. So I can only assume that he'd be one large footie pajama wearing man if he could be.