Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My plans are better than your plans!!!

Ok, so sit back and get ready to turn green with envy. I have the hottest plans for the New Year's since... well, some other hot plans. Ready? Curious, yet? Starting to wonder if my plans really beat yours? Oh wait... does the time show up when I post a blog, because if so, the observant few have totally figured me out. I AIN'T GOT NONE! I am blogging at 10:01p... not two sheets to the wind, with my last sheet coming on strong like the other living human beings on the planet. Oh no. I am not wearing couture, I am not mingling with the Indy elite, I am not at a par-tay. I am at home. Yep. Home. On the computer, because Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest (WHAT?) hasn't started yet. So here I am. Sitting here. Your night can't compare, right?

Before you pity me too much... we had plans. Really. I am not a big New Year's plan maker, either, so this year was kinda a banner year. I cannot even remember what took place last year, and the year before that is a blur. Most likely asleep by midnight, or in the case of a few years back when Mark rented Tomb Raider (otherwise known as Drool Over Angelina Jolie) I was asleep by 10p as that seemed like an activity better suited to him alone than a couple. This year, we were attending Lori's New Year at the Holiday Inn in lovely Lebanon, Indiana. Oh yes, let the envy begin. Its a Holi-Dome, in fact, so indoor pool, hot tub, and indoor playground. Yes, Lori has kids. Yes, I do too. This is the epitome of New Year's fabulousness for the under 5 crowd, let me tell you. After our hotel romp, Homa and her boyfriend were coming over for dinner and chatting. Laid back, perhaps. But they were plans. But, then.... Will struck. Or more importantly... the flu struck. And it struck his off white bedroom carpet, his crib (yes, he's still in one and I think it is great and he will remain there until he is 40 or moves out...whichever comes first), his sheets, his dust ruffle (what an emasculating name for a manly airplane patterned fabric) and his entire body. It was either the flu or a demonic possession. The jury is still out, I guess. His flu went through the night and into today, and while he has perked up, its not enough to carry on with our fancy schmancy New Year's plans. So, here I sit. Blogging. (Imagine sound of New Year's horn blowy thingy going off now).

I feel like I have to do something New Year's Evie, since I am hardly a participant in this holiday today, so I am going to throw in some resolutions for good measure. That way Dick Clark, the patron saint of December 31st, won't haunt me. Here goes:

1. I resolve to be a nicer person, even to stupid people (ahem... Sarah Palin). Shoot... broke it already, huh?

2. I resolve to lose weight... if Ben and Jerry's quit trying to put it on me with their Karmel Sutra and Coffee Heath Bar Crunch plotting against me.

3. I resolve to be a better mother. No joking. I may even try to do it by myself instead of being a kinda mom and calling my actual mom for advice every 15 minutes. And no, that time frame is not a joke either.

4. I resolve to quit doing crack. Ok, so truth be told I don't do crack (never have, which suprises people from time to time), but I thought I would put one in that I could actually accomplish so as to not feel like a failure for the next 365 days because I couldn't do numbers 1 - 3.

With those in mind, I bid you all a Happy New Year's and hope you are able to read this through the imbibing induced hangover that you will have tomorrow and I won't. Bet you'll be jealous of me then!


tuffy said...

your reason for not having plans is better than mine.

graham is starting a weight loss blog meant to be an encouraging sort of thing, not a competition over on you should join it with us.

and you can use mom's wii fit.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I don't do the Wii. Its a religious thing. I may do the blog though, but I have to really commit to the idea first, as I am about to tuck into a chocolate peanut butter ice cream coma. Its medicinal, used to come back to life after a day of vomit and tears (mostly Will's).