A simple tube of mascara!!!!

Could someone please explain to me where the gene for complicating simple purchases is located on the male DNA strand? I first realized its existence years ago when my aunt sent my uncle to a hardware store to grab a hose reel for my grandpa. You know what I mean by hose reel, right? A little round thingy that the garden hose wraps around to store it when not in use. Sounds simple, right? My uncle came back with a hose reel/garden table/robotic nose hair trimmer/bicycle built for two. Ok, so that was a few too many slashes, but a simple hose reel it was not. A couple weeks ago, this phenomenon occurred in my own life. My husband (the bigger one in the photo) does our grocery shopping, and one day I added mascara to the list. His terror was evident, but since he mastered purchasing maxi pads (Always Ultra Thin Long with Wings) awhile back, I thought he was up to the challenge. I told him that I am really easy to please and all I need is a basic black mascara. As long as its not Debbie Gibson electric blue I am good to go. My personal shopper comes home with mascara that requires launch codes from men in suits with briefcases handcuffed to their wrists. Its a multi step process with two separate brushes and wait times in between applications. First you paint the lashes white, then they dry, then you apply black, then they clump, then you utilize the separation brush to separate (clever title for the brush). It would take more time to apply that mascara than my entire shower/hygiene/style processes combined. I am not sure where "anything black" became translated into boy language so that he heard "try to make something simple into a complex gadget." Next time, maybe I need an interpreter. Or, maybe I should buy my own stinking make up!