Monday, January 26, 2009

A Cleaning Story

Once upon a time, in a land far far away called Hoosier Land, lived a woman with three children. One year, her 9 year old stepdaughter bought her a bath and body gift set for Christmas. The woman thought the gift was lovely, but didn't often use that type of product, so it sat lovingly on her dresser until she decided what to do with it. One day, she tore open the plastic and retrieved the bubble bath (the one product she was excited to receive). After that, the bath set remained on its perch on the dresser. One night, a toddler entered the room. The toddler spotted the bath set and took out each colorful bottle and squishy sponge and examined each item to decide what was the best toy to play with. "A ha!" thought the toddler. "This white powder with the furry poof is clearly the toy for me." Little toddler opened the powder and proceeded to pour the perfume powder on his head, toes and the bedroom carpet. The stench of flowers was toxic. Suddenly the woman (who was there the whole time) looked at the son and for a brief minute thought "what is all that white stuff" and then the smell hit her and she knew.

The woman threw the toddler at her husband, told him to bathe the toddler and she ran downstairs for the vacuum. She got on her hands and knees and sucked up every speck of that perfumed powder. She realized the smell was getting stronger, and so strong in fact that the room seemed to be cloudy with the scent. She wondered if the smell was making her dizzy or hallucinate because the air literally seemed to be filled with it. But as the dutiful mother and housewife that she is, she just kept vacuuming. Suddenly she heard her husband yell from the master bath and she walked to the door, squinting through the polluted haze to see him.

Mark: What vacuum are you using?

Me: The little Eureka... duh.

Mark: You mean the one I told you the other day had no bags?

Me: Uh... yeah.

Mark: Do you not see the cloud that you've created?

Me: Uh... I thought I was hallucinating.

Mark: Nope, just dumb... but I don't think you can blame the powder.
Me: Uh... right.

Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. Vacuuming powder through a bagless vacuum shoots the powder into the air and makes an ubreathable toxic cloud of hell flowers. What's even more important to note is that when it settles it makes your room appear that Courtney Love stopped by with her coke and a cold. Who knew???


Busy Bee Suz said...

That is too funny...sounds like something I would do, except my husband would NEVER know if there were bags in the vacuum or not. :)

Mark said...

Wow, Once that I was the smart one?

Yo mama said...

Mark -- you'd better put this date on your calendar.

Mark said...

I would also like to note for the record that at the time I told you there was no bags left for that Vacuum your response was "Why do I care about that?"

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Suz - Yeah... Mark is usually the vacuumer... although neither of us really do it, as we rely on Merry Maids for all of our cleaning needs (hence the white powder is still everywhere).

Mark - Just this once.

Mom - No kidding!!!

Mark - Clearly, I didn't care enough!