Monday, January 19, 2009

The Domestic Mafiosa

I am Italian on my Dad's side and while there is no mafia connection, I feel like I have the mentality. I am just a twin set away from being The Godfather, except I haven't seen that movie and am not too sure what being a Mafioso involves. But here's my point... I can hold a grudge against somebody for years. Not just years, FOREVER. You go against me, and you are dead to me. Sleeping with the fishes. Wearing cement shoes. Horse head in your bed, dead to me. See the mafia connection now?

Here's an example. When I worked at the division of the Dept. of Correction, my boss who I thought was a personal friend, ignored our friendship and accused me of something I didn't do. Mark worked there too, and he was transferred to a remote location and a new guy was brought in to do his job. Now I have this uncanny ability to separate work from personal life (another Mafia boss trait... must add to my resume when I apply to be the Godmother.) Girlfriend Lynn felt bad that Boyfriend Mark was now working in an actual prison (not a cushy office building) and that he had a longer commute to work. Employment & Benefits Supervisor Lynn said "good decision" for many reasons (which I will not get into because Husband Mark may not want to hear it and Wife Lynn doesn't feel like listening to Husband Mark's whining) and was totally open minded about the new dude. I did his New Employee Orientation and after was summoned to my boss's office where I got a butt chewing about how I made him so uncomfortable, how he felt like I put him on the hot seat as I grilled him about his qualifications, who hired him, etc. None of that happened. I made small talk and was polite, and my goal was to not let New Guy know that Replaced Guy was my boyfriend so as to not make life awkward. Apparently New Guy's Boss had already warned him about my evil boyfriend-defending ways and made our interaction totally awkward (not my fault) and New Guy went to my boss and made up a load of malarkey. I defended myself to the ground (which is another mafia trait... that's three now) and while we did move on from it, she never apologized for what she accused me of. Not even when he got terminated for rigging our company phone system to allow him to make international phone calls illegally or when she found out he lied about his debilitating (and often the cause of absences) impending divorce and when she found out he was lying about dating one of our co-workers. Signs pointed to him being a CHRONIC LIAR and I still haven't gotten an apology from her for immediately taking New Guy/Criminal/Chronic Liar Guy's side (totally ignoring the fact that she knew me and my reputation for 3 years prior to meeting him). Bitter, party of one!

So, I am sitting here this morning and I am angry about something that happened years ago. And that is not the only thing from the past that makes me mad. Don't even get me started on the 7th grade friends fiasco that I am still steamed about. If anything like that happens, I may interact with the person again, but I will keep it in the back of my mind until I die. I am a shrink's dream, what can I say. I reserve the right to throw the violation at someone if I feel they deserve it even years later. But more often than not, I never do because the situation isn't warranted. Even my example above. I never said anything to my boss after the day she accused me, even when we found out New Guy was such a loser. But, now its been years and I still have pent up irritation about it. So, I have come to the conclusion today that maybe the mafia people are right. Maybe if you leave a barnyard animal's head in someone's bed you get better closure than just sitting on it. Hmmm... now where can I find some horses???


Crazy Mo said...

I can hold a grudge into the afterlife too. You may have to give up the Correctional job if you become Godmother, though.

Mark said...

Ok first I want to say I can move on so you will not hear me whine about it. Second, Laura you may want to think again about letting Lynn goto your Farm.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I think it may be a girl thing. I can remember the wrongs done to me in elementary hubby is over stuff in a matter of minutes.
That is not to say, I keep the anger in my...I just remember.
Godfather? too funny.

Laura the Famous said...

Yep, I guess I need to watch my animals closely! So more details on the grudge please. Inquiring minds want to know. Is it the same as my grudge??

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mo - At least this way, I will know the ins and outs when I am inside.

Mark - Way to warn Laura. Now where will I get the horses???

Suz - Isn't that funny how different we are? Maybe that is why women should run the world. None of that forgive and forget nonsense.

Laura - A little of this and a little of that. That's all I am going to say.

just a little bit shabby said...

Hey there!
Stopping by to say Hi! I followed you over from Rechelle's blog. I am from KC and Italian, too. I've met some guys I thought were from la familia but don't know for sure! Enjoyed your version of the Godfather, you've got a good sense of humor!

Amie said...

I think the apology or lack of apology makes a big "friend" who screwed me over money on TWO vacations has yet to apologize or even acknowledge that she did anything wrong. She instead pretends the event didn't happen (we now only communicate via email). I don't think it's bad to not forget that someone did something wrong to you AND they didn't feel bad about says a lot about them, and I think that's something you should remember.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Sandyt - Thanks for reading. We mafiosas from Kansas have to stick together.

Amie - I agree 100%. If I do join the mob, do you want me to put a hit on her?