Friday, April 17, 2009

My Perfect Boy... in the helmet

So, we had Jack's first physical therapy appointment yesterday, and the first thing out of our PT's mouth was "has the doctor mentioned putting him in a helmet?" "Uh wha?" was what came oh so eloquently out of my mouth.

Apparently Jack is hideously deformed. Ok, I put in the hideously part for artistic license. I mean look at this face... Deforma-wha? The word on the street, or from the physical therapist with the thick Slavic accent that makes everything sound cooler than it is, is that his ears are different heights and his face is no longer symmetrical from the torticollis (which spellcheck thinks should be tortillas) or muscle that didn't develop right. So, he got a dent in his head from the tort leaving his head cocked all the time and that made his facial bones shift a little. The helmet will put everything back. But... a helmet? That he wears? OUT OF THE HOUSE????

I know I sound totally vain, but its not that. Look at those smiling faces! Babies love helmets! But, people will look at him. People will look at him with pity and with judgement and with curiosity and with interest and with pity. Yes, I said pity twice. My boy don't need your pity! In the immortal words of Mr. T (sort of) "I pity the fool who pity my baby!" And what's worse... they may comment. Someone somewhere might look at him and call him the R word (karma, much???) or something else equally disrespectful and evil. The good news is that my guy is so young he will never know or understand. He will be way out of the helmet before he even comprehends that someone could be so completely ignorant and mean spirited that they would say something cruel. He will never know. But... I will know. I will hear it and I will understand. And I will kick the crap out of that person and I will end up in prison. All because of a little helmet.

I have to ask his pediatrician about it next time we go, and that is a month away, so I am not too concerned, nor am I running out to buy it right now. But, I feel at the minimum I should issue some sort of warning or press release... "mock at your own risk" or something similar to warn people off. Protective mother bear here.... don't mess with my cub!


Nikki D said...


Don't worry about what anyone else thinks! He will be fine.

When I was 5, I had to wear a patch over my good eye to strengthen the bad. However, I could not see and ran into the pole entering the school building, and yes, kids commented. But, I just got through it!

If anyone says anything about little Jack, send 'em my way. I will handle them!

Take care!

Amie said...

Just like you said, he's so little he will never know...and now that you have Nicole backing you up, someone willing to fight over a toilet while pregnant, you'll be fine. Just put him in a t-shirt with Nicole's pic on it, and people will immediately know in advance what they will be up against if they so much as think a rude thought.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I recently saw a toddler with one of the helmets out and about...I had never seen one before. I thought it must be for the baby's protection...i.e. epileptic? shows you how much I know.
My first reaction/thought to seeing said baby: "I wish I had those for my kids...they were always banging their heads."
Really, I don't think people judge as much as you think they will...and it is for his good (if your other Dr. says it is)
Hey, you could always get one in camo...or skateboards...skulls/crossbones..

BTW: Jack is ADORABLE!!! Do you just nibble on his cheeks ALL DAY LONG??? :)

Momo-Mama said...

Awwwwwwwwwwe! Jack is beyond cute and the helmet will only add to his absolute adorableness.

I have to admit that I did chuckle a bit when I saw the happy babies in does make you giggle a bit...but totally from a nice "that's so hilariously cute" kinda place. And just to be fair, you have TOTAL permission to read about/look at pics of my kids and laugh all you want! (As long as it's from a nice place)

Hugs to mama bear and the precious boy!

Karen MEG said...

I also agree that a helmet for babies and toddlers is a great idea regardless. My little niece has had so many goose eggs and close calls, it's crazy.

I think he will look just adorable in the helmet, and actually, if you did put "mock at your own risk" on the helmet it would be both effective and hilarious! He is such a cutie, BTW.

bernthis said...

I completely understand what you are going through, as i would feel the same way. BUT your son will never know what happened and that is what is most important. Think of it as a life lesson to be learned. To learn to ignore what others are saying or thinking about someone you love is often the way to go and/or it will teach you how to stand up for yourself without going completely bat shit which I have struggled with my whole life

Karen said...

This post hits home pretty hard. My son had Down syndrome, and I struggle with the "dont' you dare pity my child" daily. It's enough to rip a parent's heart out.

Karen said...

*has. My son HAS Downs. One doesn't get over it. Ever.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Nikki D & Amie - I agree. If anyone crosses me, I will throw you into the ring.

Suz - I think you're right about the hidden blessing. That kid hits his head all the time. A helmet would be helpful. In fact, may get Will a matching one.

Momo-Mama - Seriously, how could you not laugh at those smiling babies. Do you think they are drugged or computer generated?

Karen MEG - Thanks! That helps a lot.

Bern - That's a good point. Maybe I should wear a helmet for awhile to learn that lesson myself!

Karen - I bet you have had to experience that a lot. I just hope I can handle it with as much grace as I am sure you do.

The Meeks Family said...

My little girl was fitted today for a helmet. She has the sweetest face in the world but her head is flat in the back. Holding her down to get the mold was hell but I think that the "S" that will come out of my mouth after one person makes a comment will be like no hell that they ever knew.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Meeks Family - Thanks for sharing that! I am so interested in other people going through it. I had to pin Jack down for his EEG, so I get where you're coming from on the mold making torture! Let me know how it goes!

metamorphstorm said...

All my life, I've had trouble seeing. It was especially bad the first four years of my life, as I had some problem with uneven lengths in the muscles behind my eyes, resulting in crossed eyes and double vision - and that made writing, drawing, climbing stairs, and everyday life twice as hard.

My father, the jerk, wouldn't allow me corrective surgery. I would be blind or have severely poor vision now, resulting in bottle-cap-thick glasses if I didn't. Thanks to my stepfather, I had the surgery before I started kindergarten. I still wear glasses, but so many people do, it's okay.

However, I was always running into things and falling before my surgery, and afterwards, I wore an eye-patch (I hate to alternate it back and forth for quite a while) to keep my surgically-improved eyes from being hurt/damaged in the many ways a fresh surgery can be hurt...especially on a young child.

I'm sure I got a few looks, but you know, thanks to that surgery, I can now give looks back to people - but I don't look any less ordinary than anyone else!

If the good outweights the bad in the long run, I think it's worth it, but as I'm still getting to future posts here, I may have told this story needlessly...oh, well!