Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Ok, clearly "shut the hell up" is not the right choice in my dieting dilemma. My need to shed a few (let's not get into how many I am considering is a "few") was confirmed by Lori last night. Hey, do you remember Lori? That one that a few short weeks ago I wrote a loving and glowing tribute to? Today's post... not so much. In fact, I am thinking of renaming "Be Nice To Lori" Day "Kick Lori In the Shins" Day.

Lori just returned from Florida, so the girls and I got together last night to dish. Its been like two whole weeks since we'd seen each other, so much gossip was spread. When Lori was giving us the run down on her vacay, she said that something she did made her think of me and it cracked her up. I was all ears, as I am a total attention whore, so I waited with baited breath (is it bated or baited?) as she continued. She thought of me when she was at Sea World and saw Shamu. Pause for reaction. I am quite sure the story was going to continue.... but she took that moment to pause and therefore Homa, Laura and I erupted into hysterical laughter. Of course, my laughter was only to mask the murder plot that I was devising in my head at the time. She really did continue the story (although it was nowhere near as funny after the whole "Lynn is like Shamu" thing), and I am sure she didn't mean to offend (right? RIGHT?????)... but I am considering that it may be a sign from God that her story would come out that way on the exact day I wrote a blog post about being a heifer... I mean killer whale.
Actually, if you look at us... the body shape is pretty similar. Just in case you can't tell... the first one is me. (I am the one in red... holding fat Jack. See the resemblance???)
This is the whale. I mean Shamu.... I guess the "whale" part is debatable and may apply to both.

In light of this, I am going to bite the bullet (instead of the Quater Pounder with Cheese and large fries). I love the comments and the idea of getting a blog group on a diet. Tell me when, where and I will sign up (as long as we don't have to go to those friggin' meetings). Uh... long as its not until Monday. My in-laws are coming this weekend and God knows I need the excess calories for stamina.


Homa said...

If we go on a diet, then Lori has to take lesson's in being more tactful. Although, that was hilarious because she had no idea what she even said!

Sign me up for your blog diet, and I need to commit on getting my ass to the gym!

Busy Bee Suz said...

You crack me up. Seriously, I would plot to kill her also.

My Mom lost over 100lbs over that last few years.
She was borderline diabetic.
Mind you she was also 63 or so...
she started exercising daily. Very little cardio cause she has bad knees..but she would go to the gym and do the "weight machines".
She also cut out all soda and about 90% of the sugar she was eating.
The change in her was just amazing...she also quit smoking at the same time. Little changes can make a big dent.
Good luck- Suz

**I typed this as I am looking around my desk for the bag of m & m's**

Lori the Famous (again, sorry Laura) said...

Seriously...that was some funny sh*% last night! I love you, Shamu:)

she just wants to be said...

in-laws..... oh no! I just had an email incident, run in, lack of any common sense brain freeze with my ex-mother in law! I need some CHUNKY MONKEY NOW.... but the store is too freakin far away to make a dash for it!

But I second Busy Bee Suz... little changes go a long way, especially the pop and even walking 20 minutes a day!

Don't fret! A couple extra pounds is really not so bad!

bernthis said...

hey, isn't there a blog group called sisterhood of the loosening pants or something of that nature?

the mama bird diaries said...

I support you. You can do this. :)

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Homa - I have a better chance of looking like that Australian Miss Universe chick than Lori has of being tactful.

Suz - Did you find them?

Lori - Another "Kick Lori In the Shins" Day is coming.

She Just Wants To Be - It depends how many a "few" is, I guess. But I think you're right.

Bern - I better find out!!!

Mama Bird - Thanks! If only you could do so by hanging out in my fridge and hiding all the stuff I want to eat.

TexInTheCity said...

Girl, don't be going all Law & Order on your friends! Murder plots get you on episodes of Snapped, and no one wants that!

Lets come up with a way to support each other and not drive ourselves crazy with the weight loss thing.

I'm putting on my thinking cap and will blog something this week.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Tex- But, I love Snapped! I really think I could be great on that show... granting interviews from my prison cell... and orange really is a good color on me.

I think you have a great idea. I'll be anxiously awaiting your epiphany.

metamorphstorm said...

My brother has always wanted to gain weight, but he eats like Jughead Jones (of Archie comics, for those of you who don't immediately know the name) and doesn't gain weight, thanks to blood poisoning (through salmonella) of decades ago. Now, when he reduces his smoking, he gains weight. Somehow, he still has two girlfriends (at the same time) and is a happy, happy smoker.

I don't smoke and am gaining weight like my house is collecting dust. Hmm - if I clean, maybe it's like exercise? ...