Google Me!

I am addicted to Google. I have managed to find anything from symptoms of a female dog in heat to baby names to medical advice for my Mirena. Don't ask. I have always found that the Internet provides great answers to all of life's many questions. That is... until I realized how many people reach my blog through innocent Google searches. Here are a few of my favorites.

1. There are abundant landings on my site due to searches for information on lice. Interestingly, I have never actually blogged about lice, so my site is not terribly helpful in the area. I do consider myself to be an expert though as my stepdaughter had it for possibly several years when she lived with Mother of the Year, and we battled it for a good six weeks before it left our house for good (knock on wood). My favorite lice related search was for "lice training." Now, would that be akin to a flea circus or are we training the lice to do something beneficial for society like search and rescue lice or drug sniffing lice?

2. Just yesterday someone ended up in the Land of Lynn from searching Google for "what learned from inauguration." To me, this sounds like a paper some kid was assigned by his history teacher. I hope the kid wasn't too hopped up on Jolt Cola and Wii Rock Star to read what I wrote, because if they cut and pasted based on the title of the page it went to, "Important Lessons Learned on Inauguration Day," I feel the teacher is going to know they didn't write it. Unless they are in school with a couple kids at home... which I guess is possible. Sad.

3. This may be my favorite. "Frozen water in propane line." Here is some poor schmo whose gas line is all frozed up and they get to my blog about how I am too scared to hook up a propane heater. Bob Villa, I am not, but I hope my words of wisdom helped. I like to think of myself as a DIY folk hero now that I know my blog can be reached by so many helpless homeowners.

4. I never knew just how educational my blog could be for the masses. Because someone Googled "Chihuahua Pomeranian mix Georgia" and they reached my entry called "I MEANT THE KITCHEN OPENING." I sure hope that I was able to really educate them on the female dog anatomy and Pomchi pets. In fact, I think I may be in line for an honory vet degree or something. If nothing else, they learned not to ask my friend Homa unspecific questions.... a good lesson for us all!

5. And really, this one is the best. I am not sure whether or not I like that fact that someone Googled this or the fact that its from Dubai... but it is Google goodness. Some Dubai-ian person Googled "female milking machines stories" and ended up at "My kid hates me." I am not sure if they are milking humans in Dubai or female animals, but I am pretty sure my rant on how much Jack cries really pointed them in the right direction. I also hope that I never have to hear what direction that is, because it creeps me out just a wee little bit.

So, I guess the thing I gathered from these Google mishaps is beware of where the Internet takes you. Some of us may come here by choice, but God help those who just Google upon it. When some innocent victim does end up here, may they read, enjoy and return or if nothing else... may the content not send them to therapy. Amen.