Friday, May 1, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why I am Sick of the Rain

Ok, so a chick I know on Facebook had a really good comment today. She said that if she wanted to move to Seattle, she would have. Having to endure their weather while still living in Indianapolis....well... sucks. So, that inspired me to wax poetic on why I am sick of the goll darn rain.

10. I can no longer see my dog through the grass and weeds in the yard. No, not the beagle... the BIG one.

9. My Chi hair straightener is dusty, as there is no point to taming my mane if I am just going to channel Diana Ross through my follicles the second I step outside.

8. My family will succumb to the dangers of vitamin D deficiency far quicker than we get the Pig Flu.

7. My cleaning service came yesterday and my floor is already caked with mud in various footprint patterns... none of which are of the "Jesus is carrying you" persuasion.

6. You have to pair your cute new summer shorts and capris with hip waders to get through the puddles in one piece.

5. Love to all the Canadians out there... but your geese. Your GEESE! They are strutting through my neighborhood like they just won the war against the humans for our subdivision. I think the whole world feels like a lake these days and they are on their way to total domination.

4. The local meteorologists have nothing to say since the forecast is for clouds and rain, followed by rain and clouds, followed by clouds and rain. Pretty soon they will be reduced to pulling the daily lotto numbers for lack of anything better to do.

3. My utilities will be cut off and my home foreclosed on because any mail (including bills) disintegrates into mush the second you open the mailbox and even a Jamaican-speed sprint back to the house is fruitless.

2. Will and Jack have become nocturnal because day doesn't look any different from night, so how are they supposed to know when to sleep and when to be awake?

1. I can't even get outside to work on the ark because its too damn rainy for construction work.

All of this makes me wonder... if April showers bring May flowers... why in God's name is it still raining??????? Happy friggin' May Day!


Mark said...

Yes but the Grass seed I just put down may actually have a chance of growing.

Busy Bee Suz said...

You are so funny...I love your list. I wish you could send some of your rain down here...we are having major fires in the everglades. IT was so smoky outside this morning that I walked all around our house making sure the flames were not in MY yard!!!

Karen said...

And you know in just two short months they'll be restricting water use because of the impending draught.

OHmommy said...

OMG... that was SO awesome. it hasn't stopped raining here either. gah!

TexInTheCity said...

Number five made me snort smoothie out my nose! Too phunny!

(Hey if I promise not to stalk you would you send me your e-mail)

the mama bird diaries said...

I hate this effin rain. its making me crazy.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Mark - I am pretty sure its been washed away with the other flood victims.

Suz - I wish I could share! You send me your gorgeous house for awhile and I will send the rain.

Karen - So true!

OHMommy - It is just torture. Thank God for cute trench coats, though.

Tex - I will send you my email. I have always wanted a stalker!!!

Mama Bird - I really think the government should issue vouchers for travel to the sunshine to keep up morale. Someone tell Obama!

metamorphstorm said...

I am so sorry about the geese! I don't know why they flew south when there's enough rain here to drown a fish...but maybe they'e remembering the annoying June snow and want to get a head start?